Imposter syndrome- You against You
Have you ever doubted yourself? Your ability, your skills, your worthiness?
Well, if you have, you aren’t alone.
“Why would anyone want to see me again in a movie? And I don’t know how to act anyway, so why am I doing this?” Meryll Streep
Researchers say that almost 70% of people have at some time felt like
as if they don’t deserve what they have got
said “it’s too good to be true”
thought “I just got lucky”
said “I don’t know how I did it”
What we call “Imposter Syndrome” is a common issue that almost all of us have faced or still face in our life.
It’s mostly common in high achievers. People who are driven, who set goals and achieve them.
“The exaggerated esteem in which my lifework is held makes me very ill at ease. I feel compelled to think of myself as an involuntary swindler”.Albert Einstein
So what is this imposter syndrome?
It’s that doubt that you have when you have done something worthwhile, and you are unable to accept the credit for it.
It’s that insecurity that the good in your life won’t last as nothing good lasts for you.
It’s that disbelief on your own capabilities.
It’s that feeling of being someone you are not.
It’s that thought that “any moment the bubble will burst and people will know I am a fraud. That I don’t know much of what I talk about.”
It’s the discomfort that you feel when you are praised for something that you could accomplish easily. And you feel “do I deserve this?”
Have you ever wondered?
- What makes you have these feelings, these thoughts?
- What makes you say these words to yourself ?
- What makes you doubt yourself ?
I have these questions too. Infact They are so loud and so many that it made my self image shrink down. I felt and thought myself to be so small and so insignificant.
“I still sometimes feel like a loser kid in high school and I just have to pick myself up and tell myself that I’m a superstar every morning so that I can get through this day and be for my fans what they need for me to be,” Lady Gaga
Leader’s throughout history and even in the current times have spoke about going through all of these feelings.
So, if it’s so common, why has it not been cured?
Because it is not a disease. It is just an outcome of the conditioning that you have been programmed with since your childhood.
Those years when as a child you are told “what you should do” and “what is right and wrong”…
It’s about all those times that you were told “you are not good enough”. “This is not good enough”.
It’s when your expectations were so high from yourself so that you could please everyone.
The confidence that you had in “you” was shaken.
“‘There are still days when I wake up feeling like a fraud, not sure I should be where I am.’” Sheryl Sandberg
The unquestioned beliefs that you accepted took away your reasoning power with respect to any judgements others made about you and your actions.
So how do we manage this?
Acknowledge your feelings. They have a positive intent.
Know your reality. The real you underneath all those expected behaviour and results.
Question your beliefs. If you believe that you don’t know something or that you don’t deserve something. Ask yourself “what makes me think this?”
Validate your growth. Look back at your journey. Look at the starting point and where you have reached today. Look back at those times when you felt accomplished, acknowledged, validated and satisfied.
Identify what made you feel that way.
Write down all your accomplishments from as long back as you can remember. (Dig those papers out from the closet).
It’s more of an imagination than a reality. However, the problem becomes big when you are unable to distinguish between what’s real and what’s not.
Don’t let mere “thoughts” steal your courage, your confidence and your beliefs in yourself.
Remember that anything left unattended for too long, only becomes worst and anything lived for too long, can become a reality.