Self Doubt- What makes us “believe” in it?
- Why is it so difficult for us to trust ourselves??
Trust our decisions??
- Believe in our capabilities….
- Where did this validation of self doubt come from?
Let’s talk about the system here. When we were students, our grades based on the “right answers” were the measure of our intelligence and our capabilities…
We studied to answer “correctly” and waited eagerly for the results to know “did we actually answer them right?”
The pat on the back or the praise was what affirmed that we did “good” in something and the absence of that affirmation filled us with doubt…
The dependence on the external made the internal weak. Without external validation we could not “believe” in ourself. Our mind then applied this system to almost everything that we did. And when we didn’t get an affirmation of having done a “good job” , the seeds of “self doubt” were sowed for harvesting all through our life.
I agree that as children we may have needed to measure our knowledge and set our own benchmarks for growth. But as Adults, don’t those benchmarks need to change?
(If you were an average student like me then maybe the benchmarks were never important… the growth always was.. the learning is what was always a priority… )
Some may say that it’s not easy to change this.
Of course, it won’t be easy for them who believe in “doubting” themselves. But there will some who believe in “believing” in themselves. Or may want to start doing so.
An individual grows through life, and grows through responsibilities. The veil of self doubt keeps them from noticing all that they have achieved in life, all that he have created in life. They go through with life seeking validation and eroding their self worth.
Most of us may even suffer from “Imposter Syndrome”. I know I did. And it took me quite some time to overcome that. I didn’t believe in my own accomplishments. I didn’t believe in my own leadership. And I know it made me weak as a Leader. Because when we are weak from within, it shows.
The good thing about life is that it’s constantly changing. We are constantly growing. And understanding the importance of working on ourself will only accelerate that growth.
So while the system of education and the society is being updated. We as individuals, need to update our own beliefs.
Self doubt is the worst enemy that anyone can have. And the sad part is that, this is an enemy we create ourselves and get attached to.
It’s time to change that.
Let’s bid adieu to this enemy so that we can make room for a new friend. “Self Belief”.